For a number of years now I have tried to make it a daily practice of reading one proverb a day for every day of the month. Even though I have not always been as consistent as I have wanted, the times I have been consistent have been very rewarding. Just this past week as I was reading Proverbs 31, which many times is the standard to which all women and wives are compared; I was struck by the commentary of Neil Kennedy about this famous Proverb. In his commentary he said that in order to have the privilege of loving and being blessed with a Proverbs 31 woman for your wife you needed to be a Proverbs 1 thru 30 man who cultivated her remarkable gifts and draws upon them.
Now why would he make such a comment? What exactly is a Proverbs 1 thru 30 man you ask?
Well, in order to best describe it to you, I need to share about an event that I experienced this past weekend. On Saturday, I had the privilege of attending the Celebration of Life service for Tim Nixon, one of the most Godly men I had ever encountered in my 45 years of life All throughout the service, accolades were shared and stories were told of the extraordinary man, husband, father, and coach that Tim was during his life. In addition to the stories, hundreds of people packed the auditorium to celebrate the way in which Tim exhibited Jesus to everyone he came into contact with during his life, and in particular how he loved his wife Yvonne.
So what does Tim’s life have in common with being a Proverbs 1 thru 30 man? The secret is in John 15:4-8 (Tim’s favorite passage) which says,
“Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me. “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.” John 15:4-8 MSG
For a man to love and cherish and have the opportunity to be married to a Proverbs 31 woman, you have to be connected to the vine of your Heavenly Father. What does it mean? It means that you have a personal, thriving relationship with Jesus. If you go outside of that vine and relationship with Jesus and try to do things on your own, the consequences that follow will be devastating. However, if you are willing to develop that intimate relationship with God and be in constant communication with him, thru whatever means that gives you life, you will find yourself exhibiting the fruit of the spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 which says,
“But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature together with its passions and appetites. If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage–our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit]. We must not become conceited, challenging or provoking one another, envying one another.” Galatians 5:22-26 AMP
My guess is that most of you are like me. There are times that you exhibit these characteristics with your wife and there are times when you don’t. What I want you to see is that when you are connected to the vine and are talking and experiencing Jesus personally, you will naturally demonstrate these fruits of the spirit with your wife and others. You will be more loving, more joyful, more at peace, more patient, more kind, do more good, more faithful, more gentle, and more self-controlled. What wife wouldn’t want to feel and experience those traits in their husband?
As you develop and consistently demonstrate these traits, I can promise you, maybe not immediately but over time, that you will begin to see a Proverbs 31 woman and wife appear before your eyes and be able to say about you from Proverbs 31:23,
“Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city.” Proverbs 31:23 CEVDCUS06
You see, a Proverbs 1 thru 30 man is one who demonstrates Love, who expresses Joy, seeks Peace, practices Patience, shows Kindness, displays Goodness, remains Faithful, and maintains Self-Control. Over time, as you press into Jesus and attach yourself to the vine of your Heavenly Father, the fruit that you experience will be the kind that makes you ready to love and encourage a Proverbs 31 woman, just like Tim Nixon did with his wife Yvonne.
My goal and hope for each of you is that you will be so connected to your Heavenly Father as a branch is connected to the vine, that you can’t help but bear the fruit of the spirit and love the amazing Proverbs 31 woman in your life.
So I ask you one last time…
Are You a Proverbs 1 thru 30 Man?