Over the past 8 months or so, I have had two continuous fears of dying.
First; when I die, will I really be allowed into heaven? All the things I have done and not done… I have worried that God would say, “You just did not do enough of the right things to enter into Heaven, Warren.”
My heart’s desire to get to Heaven was clouded by my mind knowing that we live in a performance-based world. Work, many relationships, and life in general require accomplishments. And the bar keeps rising just to meet average. Many churches I attended over the years talked about all I had to do through service to be a worthy Christian. Hard to break that teaching and training.
Jesus provided us Grace to get to Heaven when He went to the cross. Knowing with my mind now, I no longer dwell on if I am getting to Heaven, but think about what I am going to do when I get there.
My second fear of dying is not being here for my bride. Janet and I have been married just over 24 years and friends a lot longer. I have been able to provide for and take care of her through a number of illnesses and a lot of surgeries.
As I listened to my favorite song this morning, God told me to let Him have Janet. He reminded me He had her long before I came into her life, and He would take care of her until she goes home to Heaven. He also reminded me that He has had me all along too; through all the battles I have fought and those I am still fighting. He told me that all my prayers count and nothing is too big for Him.
“Keep the door open” were His words.
I wanted to share this, in case anyone ever had doubts.
Until next time….Warren